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Rufus Hound

I was reading the Guaridan today and this guy got a mention in Grace Dent's brilliant column. It prompted a thought which I must admit I've harboured for some time, so I wrote a poem about it...hope you enjoy!

WHO THE FUCK IS RUFUS HOUND?
I cannot promise much
but I guarantee a pound,
for the one ultimate answer,
who the fuck is Rufus Hound?

Many times I've turned on goggle box
and look! He's bloody there!
With some faux ironic trucker's cap
and "interesting" hair.

A man whose conversation
sounds like crap stand-up routine.
He's so awfully prolific
from the TV that I've seen!

When TOTP wanted presenters
he was there to take his turn,
Waxing lyrical 'bout Matt Darey,
I even started liking Fearne!

Is he expert in some subject?
Did I miss this with a blink?
Coz I've yet to get my head round
should I care 'bout what he thinks?

So I'll search on Wikipedia
groups on Facebook 'til I've found
Satisfaction to my question
Who the fuck is Rufus Hound?

Comments

lazyrider said…
Rufus Hound's a wanker
I know you've seen it's right
The times that I have seen him
His routine has been shite

He seems to think his thoughts
are interesting to many
But I've heard better inkilngs
Expressed by Crossroads' Benny

(That was shit)

All in all, our Simon
I don't think you should worry
As Rufus Hound is bollocks
And you are pretty funny
4:34 am
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