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Showing posts from 2007

New Best Friend Needed

My best mate in the world has just got a new dog. It is a Schnauzer and she has named him Dougie. The reason for this only becomes apparent when you say his name followed by his breed. Go on. Say it. For this reason, I can no longer associate with her. :)

A Rubbish Update

I did it! I braved the bin-shed. As you may have read earlier in the blog I was umming and aahing about whether or not to drive my binbags somewhere else rather than chuck them into my own bin due to the infestation of rats at the current Green home. Well, the smell got to be too much for me as I woke this afternoon and a cleaning spree took hold so they went. No more nonsense! Out they went...and I didn't see one rat...... .....mainly I assume because I had my eyes closed as I opened the shed door, squinted to see if I had taken the bin lid off properly and threw the bags in, then locked up quickly and went about my business. I've no idea if they're being scurried over and eaten by the bastard rodents as we speak. I can't think about that too much! In other news, after starving myself in anticipation of the beans and toast I was going to have when I got to Work 2, imagine my disgust when I saw that some swine had used the last of my bread for their OWN toast AND helped...

Kevin Greening

I heard this afternoon about the death of Kevin Greening. It was a shock to say the least and absolutely tragic. I had a few people texting me wondering how he'd died and, according to his agent, it was "peacefully in his sleep". This makes it more unbelievable. That there's no proper reason for it. Anyway, he was one of the very very best. If you look to create intelligent radio and are unafraid to treat your audience with the respect they deserve then Kevin was the standard you forever try to emulate. One of the wittiest and effortless broadcasters I've ever heard and I can only extend my best wishes and condolences to those close to him. Media Guardian - 31st December

RIDE WIT DA BIG DAWG!!

If you can, visit the BBC's fabulous Listen Again player to listen to yesterday's "Scott Mills Gold". Chappers, who was down to link in between re-packaged bits of the Drivetime show, wasn;t well and so who do the men in the know get in to do it instead? Westwood. My favourite part is the first link into Take That. It's brilliant radio gold and makes me wish (and you if you also work in radio) that we could be this honest about the tripe we;re forced to play. http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1 - Go to "Listen/Podcasts"

A rubbish post

Just how illegal is fly-tipping? I live in a house containing 6 flats which stands on it's own next to a railway line pretty much in the middle of nowhere. The reason I asked the question is because as a result of our isolation from civilisation a plague of rats has invaded the little shed where we keep our bins. All week I've taken down my bin bags only to be scared off by the scuttering of at least 14 rats in the bin-shed and so I took the bags back upstairs. I've done this at all hours. In the dead of night as I leave for work (4am usually) is just too scary, they've leapt out on those occasions. I even did some reading up (OK, it was Wikipedia) and saw that rats were supposed to be nocturnal but at 1pm they were still there, running to and from the sewer grid. Now I know what day the bins are collected in the neighbouring villages, surely it's not wrong for me to just place my bags near the communal set-down points on the High Street is it? All this to avoid pos...

Made Me Laugh #1

This is from Saturday Night Live. Andy Samberg punches people before they start eating...and it's funny. http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x37oyw_snl-people-getting-punched-just-bef_fun ...apart from the bit at the end. That's just annoying!

He'll Never Leave

Much was made of the end of this series of Parkinson. The anticipation in the press about his "last ever" show with the stellar guest list he chose himself (who's been choosing his guests for the past 36 years then?) and the fact that this was the end of an era was unpalpable. I can't help feeling a bit of deja vu though. Hasn't he retired before? At least twice? I couldn't help thinking this all the way through this "final" programme. Michael Caine and David Attenborough were highlights. Peter Kay was annoying and David Beckham was actually quite interesting. It was nice to hear Parky asking some questions that actually led to answers I wanted to hear. So the end came, Parky came to the front, said his thank you and goodbyes followed by the following inevitable annnouncement.... "..until next week when I'll be back for a special episode".... Jesus man, will you fuck off already!! You're either retiring or you're not!! I truly b...

Seeing the dead

Since getting the car and driving round Oxfordshire and Wiltshire at ridiculous times of the morning, I've been hearing all kinds of stories about seeing ghostly apparitions on the road. You know the kind of thing, you'll be driving and suddenly see a young woman in the road but as you slow down she disappears, or horsemen patrolling what used to be the stables etc.. It's always a story to do with someone who died at the spot in some grizzly circumstance. The thing is, I'm fine with ghosts appearing at the places where they died, however why is it only human ghosts you see? Think of the number of foxes, rabbits and badgers that are killed on country roads every day and wonder why you never see ghostly figures of them littering the roads. Never have I heard anyone talk of seeing "what looked like a slow pigeon but as I tensed, ready to hit it, it disappeared..." Think about it....but not for too long....

WTF? - Dec 10th

December 10th's edition of "What the Fuck.." concerns Niki, the latest warbler to be thrown off TV's karaokefest "The X Factor". She tells the News Of The World that she and her hubby have a suicide pact because "it's in the best interests of the kids." They have two teenage boys and they thinking is that if Niki or her fella were to die, if the other one kills themselves it'll be easier for the kids to deal with 2 deaths at the same time than to deal with the loss of their parents over time. It's an interesting thought but I'd have thought that if one of your parents died you''d want and need the other parent to comfort you and make sense of it all. Maybe that's just me though! http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/xfactor/a81369/x-factors-niki-has-suicide-pact-with-hubby.html

Worst hangover ever...because I've not bee drinking!!

So yesterday was the day from Hell! I did the Ikea show from 12 till 4am, got a couple of hours shut-eye in the studio then on the road to Swindon for a 6 hour stint at the GWR Appeal. It's the 25th time they've done this and the way it's done is really quite good. The main studio has the major lots and they go to quick sales every 15 minutes. However, the interesting thing is that Ralph Bernard, the chief executive of the ENTIRE COMPANY sits in the second studio who barks orders at you every 20 seconds. Very very funny. So at 4.00 I eventually finished (after chatting with the captain of Swindon Town....who's from Blackley) and set off for my hotel. Obviously because I'm an idiot I didn't print out directions to get there and so had to find it from memory. I knew it had Chippenham somewhere in the address so I drove round Chippenham for half an hour, to no avail. Then after looking on my phone for a Travelodge in Chippenham it gave me "Leigh Delamere - Wes...

Take That - "Shine"

This song now reminds me of the supermarket advert where Nick Hancock shouts at us about liking fresh fish. I'm not really the kind of person to take any notice of celebrity endorements anyway but why should I or anyone make a decision on their shopping choices based on Nick Hancock? Do you know anyone who would?

James Blunt Does His Bit

Apparently James Blunt offsets his carbon emmisions by showing "An Inconvenient Truth" before each of his shows and plants a tree for each ticket sold. That must cost him a fortune! Here's an easier way for him to help out with this is by just...fucking off! No trees to be planted, no James Blunt concerts! Everyone's happy!

How I spent July 7th

- DRIVING TO BASINGSTOKE I forgot to send out some tickets to winners for tonight's cage fighting at the Rivermead so I had to find out their addresses and hand deliver them this morning after the other job. Luckily they lived on the same estate. Unfortunately it was a bit scary! - SLEEPING WHEN I SHOULD HAVE BEEN WORKING I forgot that I had to cover the morning show as well as my own and so I went to bed.....woke up at 11.00 with a nice understanding text asking where the hell I was!! Idiot! - RECORDING A PODCAST Work 1 needed the podcast a whole day before I got back from holiday so I had to go in and do it today. Annoying but necessary! - BEING JEALOUS OF A STRANGER In the beer garden of one of the local pubs I enjoyed a pint and watched as a guest at the wedding being held in the restaurant arrived in a helicopter! Boo for being such a nasty capitalist pig but huge hurrqahs for being cool enough to turn up at a wedding reception in a helicopter! Wouldn't happen in the Blue ...

Rufus Hound

I was reading the Guaridan today and this guy got a mention in Grace Dent's brilliant column. It prompted a thought which I must admit I've harboured for some time, so I wrote a poem about it...hope you enjoy! WHO THE FUCK IS RUFUS HOUND? I cannot promise much but I guarantee a pound, for the one ultimate answer, who the fuck is Rufus Hound? Many times I've turned on goggle box and look! He's bloody there! With some faux ironic trucker's cap and "interesting" hair. A man whose conversation sounds like crap stand-up routine. He's so awfully prolific from the TV that I've seen! When TOTP wanted presenters he was there to take his turn, Waxing lyrical 'bout Matt Darey, I even started liking Fearne! Is he expert in some subject? Did I miss this with a blink? Coz I've yet to get my head round should I care 'bout what he thinks? So I'll search on Wikipedia groups on Facebook 'til I've found Satisfaction to my...