Fat Mancunian

OK, so what the BLOODY HELL does this mean? I've been having nightmares on and off now for 6 months but this one was by far the worst. After going to my brothers' flat in Reading town centre (they don't live together, they certainly don't live in Reading) I was followed home by a tall man with a shock of grey hair, looking not unlike Christopher Lee. From then on, at regular intervals, I would get notes about how he was going to kill me and make it look like suicide. After the 5th note the secret shadowy department of the police got involved. Note 7 was a grid reference of the location of my planned "suicide". Eventually the man showed himself while we were in Manchester Central Library studying maps with that grid reference. He was exposed as the location was found not to exist and the police unit all left with a swoosh shouting "It's a camera"! The man was then arrested and his daughter (who looked like Jerry Sadowitz) came round to my...

FOOTBALL TWEETS @KiranArora Recently I've been playing a lot of FIFA. Basically I sit in an office in Zurich and think of ways to ruin World Cups. @JustinEagleton Nice to see so many City fans dressed as blue plastic seats....#tumbleweed RADIO TWEET @xrrf Kershaw's back: Here's a piece of really good news: Andy Kershaw back on the radio : http://bit.ly/cfTGmV TWITTER TWEET @Matthew_Rudd Twitter wants me to follow Amanda Holden. Do I look like Neil bloody Morrissey? APPALLING TREATMENT OF CHUBBY BRETHREN TWEET @danwood_uk Be careful how much you eat on holiday. Man barred from returning to the UK for gaining weight http://bit.ly/9X817c TOP SERVICE STATION SPOT TWEET @DJChristianOC There is a hearse with coffin the back at Fleet Services! Maybe its what he would have wanted.. WE WILL MAKE YOU PAY FOR BOBBINS SERVICE TWEET @Thomkirwin New Sky Sports News, Does HD stand for hardly different? MADE ME LAUGH TWEET @TonyCowards Got a book from the libra...

There's a great little interview with Ally Ross from The Sun in today's Media Guardian. This bit of the article intrigued me.. "He doesn't get the same online feedback/debate/abuse as other papers' TV critics because his reviews – along with the columns of some of the newspaper's other big-name writers – are not on its website. I wanted to find out from the Sun why its best-known columnists are not online, and whether it is testing things out in preparation for an extension of the paywall, but no one at News International wanted to talk to me. Ross himself is remarkably unfussed about missing out on readers by not being online. He started in the industry before online news was popular and he leaves all that kind of thing to other people. "I trust they know what they're doing," he says." The Guardian like other news outlets have recently seems amazed by the decision by News International to put paywalls up for their online portfolio with...

There are a lot of tweets from VizTopTips.....which I don't apologize for! @Popjustice Diana Vickers told me last year that The X Factor reminded her of being nervous so much that the theme made her want a poo. @ VizTopTips DRIVERS. When you see those 'accident blackspot' signs you should speed up. You don't want to hang about in dangerous places. @leslie1976 @VizTopTips COUNCILS. Save money on safety equipment by shaving off workmen's body hair and painting them with permanent luminous paint. /via @HolyMole @markaustinitv Just heard on radio female student who got two C's and D instead of three A's. "well,I might go into journalism then". @VizTopTips SCHOOLS: avoid the annual controversy over whether exams are getting easier by using the same exam questions every year. @acatcalledfrank @holymoly The first guy singing needs to have an awkward conversation with his wife quite soon. @Scroobiuspipyo Id love to have seen the "We Buy...

On my Google Reader, I had all the entries from the AMAZING "Man In the Morning" blog from a couple of years ago. I was just reading them and wanted to do so in order so I changed the view from "Newest" to "Oldest" and LOST THE LOT!!! AAAAARGH!!! Does anyone know who Zak De Luxe was?

http://www.lamebook.com/ Made me guffaw!!!

So Axl Rose had his Twitter feed hacked did he? If you've not been following this, @axlrose was updated over the weekend to say that GnR's roster of shows had been cancelled with immediate effect. Cue gnashing of teeth from the older Reading and Leeds ticketholders about the fact that the reason they paid £150+ had, once again, let them down. See, he's got form for this. Shows cancelled all over the place. On the few occasions he had deigned to turn up it was normally late and they would go off at curfew time making for a total performance time of 30odd minutes. Which is why when the "announcement" was made, few eyebrows were raised. The subsequent tweet suggesting that W. Axl had been hacked was more surprising. It would not surprise me if he did actually post the offending tweet only for the record company to go begging for him to reconsider. So it seems Reading and Leeds will get their dose of GnFnR.... ...I wouldn't put your house on it though.

@TheCowlicker Grammer is important : Capitalisation is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse & helping your uncle jack off a horse @MJMcKean I say parole Mark David Chapman; but every Beatle fan in the world gets to kick him in the groin. He can take us alphabetically @GriffoRadio Didn't Fabio Capello start his career as game show host Guy Smiley on Sesame Street? He wears glasses now of course http://twitpic.com/2droyo @iainlee Reading a biography of de Niro that King of Comedy isn't very good! Bullshit. It's one of his best films. @anniemacdj There is no sensation I detest more than walking face first through a cobweb @EamonnHolmes Beckham - it's hardly a surprise it's over for him and England - but it just shows how bad bosses are in dealing with the workforce! @stephenfry It's official. iPhoners get more sex than BB or Android users. http://bit.ly/aR959i Who could have doubted it? @GrahamBandage @thesimonevans The Wels...

Must update blog daily! Wise words from an old hand!