Tuesday, April 16, 2013

I Hate Onesies

(written for the Wish FM Breakfast Blog)

 The theme park Drayton Manor are attempting to break the world record for the most people in one place wearing onesies this weekend.
The first question is, of course, why?
Away from that though it got me thinking about just why I hate the onesie....because I do. I despise them! I've narrowed it down to 7 reasons.

1. The nonsense reasons for wearing them. "They're so warm" - put a jumper on "They're fun" - They are not fun, they are irritating, especially the character onesies. You really don't look cute, neither do you like a dinosaur.

2. They're uncomfortable. I made the mistake of wearing one once. Sat down too quickly and nearly ruined my chances of becoming a grandfather.

3. They encourage "wackiness". No charity day is complete without Darren in Accounts coming to work as the Pink Panther.

4. They make me think you are one of those people who get a kick out of wearing baby clothes! Also they ARE babygrows!

5. They're impractical. Nowhere to put your phone, wallet, change, etc, unless of course you're wearing a kangaroo onesie.

 6. You are more prone to accidents. Remember the Kenny Everett sketch about Spiderman?

7. What's going on underneath? Are you wearing underwear or are you sweating your nasty sweat all over my couch?

Let me tell you this now. You will never, NEVER see me in a onesie!