Saturday, July 26, 2008

Caught Out!

Just been listening to the fabulous Dosecast from Hirsty, Danny and JoJo ( and they're talking about a couple of lesbians getting caught "at it" in Hebden Bridge. Now as every right thinking man in the world knows, lesbians are great! They rule! I agree with Danny on the subject and when I assume my place as President of the New UK after the revolution, lesbians will recieve tax breaks.

Anyway, they did a phone-in on times you've been caught and it reminded me of a time I was very nearly caught out!

It was with my ex who lived in the country. She'd been away on holiday and so I went up to see her at her parents' house. After a spot of tea we went for a walk in the fields round the back of the village. One thing led to another and a bit of au-naturel was sampled!

So we went back to the house, she went upsatair to sort herself out before giving me a lift home and I went into the front room to chat to her dad. After a few minutes I got up to make a brew but noticed there was a new little mark on their nice white leather sofa. A little investigation revealed what the mark was. There was a lump of sheep shit in my hair...which had rubbed on the sofa.

A bit of cheeky cleaning with the elbow sorted it out and I don't think the parents were ever any the wiser....unless of course they're reading which case it was all her fault!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Ramsey's Bovine Nightmares

Watched "The F Word" yesterday.

There was a scene where the calves that Janet Street-Porter had been raising were sent to the slaughterhouse. It's a family-run business and all that touchy-feely crap!

Anyway, JSP asked the question that any caring farmer would, "How will they be killed?"

The reply was that they would be killed in the most humane way possible. "We'll shoot him with a stun gun and then slit his throat while he's stunned allowing the blood to drain from the carcass."

Not overly humane really is it. I can't imagine that if euthanasia were ever legalised there would be too many people asking that their loved ones were stunned and then had their throats slit!

Let's never forget though, the main message of the exercise. Veal is tasty!

Sunday, July 13, 2008


Christ I'm tired!
Hardly any sleep (none) on Friday meant it was a struugle to get through the weekend job.
I got home at 4.45am, straight to bed, straight to sleep. 13 hours later, I woke up, watched the remaining 4 episodes of Arrested Development I had borrowed from LoveFilm.ccom and fell back to sleep.
Woke up, packed for the gym, realised that the gym was closed because I'd slept so much, called H and came to work.

Sleepy again now!

By the way, is it just me or does anyone else find ProPlus utterly useless? Are you supposed to have them with a triple espresso for them to work?