There are a lot of tweets from VizTopTips.....which I don't apologize for!
@Popjustice Diana Vickers told me last year that The X Factor reminded her of being nervous so much that the theme made her want a poo.
@ VizTopTips DRIVERS. When you see those 'accident blackspot' signs you should speed up. You don't want to hang about in dangerous places. @leslie1976
@VizTopTips COUNCILS. Save money on safety equipment by shaving off workmen's body hair and painting them with permanent luminous paint. /via @HolyMole
@markaustinitv Just heard on radio female student who got two C's and D instead of three A's. "well,I might go into journalism then".
@VizTopTips SCHOOLS: avoid the annual controversy over whether exams are getting easier by using the same exam questions every year. @acatcalledfrank
@holymoly The first guy singing needs to have an awkward conversation with his wife quite soon.
@Scroobiuspipyo Id love to have seen the "We Buy Any Car" people go on Dragons Den with that sentence as their whole business plan.
@VizTopTips AVOID confusion by simply understanding everything all of the time. /via @srafferty73
@VizTopTips SINGLE PEOPLE. Phrase "plenty more fish in the sea" is no longer true. Stocks are dwindling. Marry your partner now. /via @GadgetJase
@alexthedarklord Today you are slightly more like your parents than you were yesterday. Check yourself out and report in.
@SarahMillican75 I just ate my emergency Mars Bar out of the car and I'm not even ashamed.
@tvBite Nice to see Denis Leary finally doing something that he's not copied from Bill Hicks - reaching his 53rd birthday.
@VizTopTips WHEN using a 'pay as you go' public toilet, offset your financial loss by stealing the bog roll. /via @TheMoodyMann.
@MrsRupertPupkin Found a 1998 "To Do" list. Still need to "Follow my dreams." Can cross off "Tape Frasier."
@JustinEagleton Terry Hall is a ledge!!!
@VizTopTips INSOMNIACS: use those bonus nighttime hours to think about your problems and fears. /via @paulfoneill
@stephencgrant 'Pas de probleme', 'de rien', and 'avec plaisir' are the sisters of merci.
@paul_a_smith While you're at it, if you're still calling yourself a social media guru, evangelist, wizard or anything else, punch yourself in the balls.
@gaylerealradio People who wear 'fun' clothes are no fun. Just met a very miserable man in a bow tie.
@ConorMcNicholas I saw two shooting stars last night, I wished on them but they were only satellites. It's wrong to wish on space hardware...
@leeboardman I can't handle Greg Wallace when he puts food in his mouth. He kind of sexually assaults it with his face. FORK IT! #masterchef
@VizTopTips HEAVY METAL FANS. Turn your sister's Girls Aloud poster into a Def Leppard one by simply drawing moustaches on the girls. @DrDoneLittle.
@VizTopTips HALIFAX: Improve your PR by manning the cashier booths instead of pretending you're a radio station. /via @calmdownkidder
@VizLetterBocks RT @jordmiller: I once asked Tiger Woods about golf carts and he went off on one.
@caitlinmoran Attention: @TimWestwood has been offered Dancing On Ice, and wonders if he should do it. We must all tell him: YES.
@VizTopTips FIND a needle in a haystack by burning the haystack to the ground and then metal detectoring the ashes. Simple. /via @Sheardyj
@Popjustice Diana Vickers told me last year that The X Factor reminded her of being nervous so much that the theme made her want a poo.
@ VizTopTips DRIVERS. When you see those 'accident blackspot' signs you should speed up. You don't want to hang about in dangerous places. @leslie1976
@VizTopTips COUNCILS. Save money on safety equipment by shaving off workmen's body hair and painting them with permanent luminous paint. /via @HolyMole
@markaustinitv Just heard on radio female student who got two C's and D instead of three A's. "well,I might go into journalism then".
@VizTopTips SCHOOLS: avoid the annual controversy over whether exams are getting easier by using the same exam questions every year. @acatcalledfrank
@holymoly The first guy singing needs to have an awkward conversation with his wife quite soon.
@Scroobiuspipyo Id love to have seen the "We Buy Any Car" people go on Dragons Den with that sentence as their whole business plan.
@VizTopTips AVOID confusion by simply understanding everything all of the time. /via @srafferty73
@VizTopTips SINGLE PEOPLE. Phrase "plenty more fish in the sea" is no longer true. Stocks are dwindling. Marry your partner now. /via @GadgetJase
@alexthedarklord Today you are slightly more like your parents than you were yesterday. Check yourself out and report in.
@SarahMillican75 I just ate my emergency Mars Bar out of the car and I'm not even ashamed.
@tvBite Nice to see Denis Leary finally doing something that he's not copied from Bill Hicks - reaching his 53rd birthday.
@VizTopTips WHEN using a 'pay as you go' public toilet, offset your financial loss by stealing the bog roll. /via @TheMoodyMann.
@MrsRupertPupkin Found a 1998 "To Do" list. Still need to "Follow my dreams." Can cross off "Tape Frasier."
@JustinEagleton Terry Hall is a ledge!!!
@VizTopTips INSOMNIACS: use those bonus nighttime hours to think about your problems and fears. /via @paulfoneill
@stephencgrant 'Pas de probleme', 'de rien', and 'avec plaisir' are the sisters of merci.
@paul_a_smith While you're at it, if you're still calling yourself a social media guru, evangelist, wizard or anything else, punch yourself in the balls.
@gaylerealradio People who wear 'fun' clothes are no fun. Just met a very miserable man in a bow tie.
@ConorMcNicholas I saw two shooting stars last night, I wished on them but they were only satellites. It's wrong to wish on space hardware...
@leeboardman I can't handle Greg Wallace when he puts food in his mouth. He kind of sexually assaults it with his face. FORK IT! #masterchef
@VizTopTips HEAVY METAL FANS. Turn your sister's Girls Aloud poster into a Def Leppard one by simply drawing moustaches on the girls. @DrDoneLittle.
@VizTopTips HALIFAX: Improve your PR by manning the cashier booths instead of pretending you're a radio station. /via @calmdownkidder
@VizLetterBocks RT @jordmiller: I once asked Tiger Woods about golf carts and he went off on one.
@caitlinmoran Attention: @TimWestwood has been offered Dancing On Ice, and wonders if he should do it. We must all tell him: YES.
@VizTopTips FIND a needle in a haystack by burning the haystack to the ground and then metal detectoring the ashes. Simple. /via @Sheardyj
Comments